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Being Bulgarian :)


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#1 _FIESTA_

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Публикувано 23 May 2008 - 06:45 PM

You know you're Bulgarian when...> 1. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink> any American.> 2. At your wedding you know only about a> third of the guests.> 3. At least one of your friends'> nickname/name is "Sasho".> 4. Your father calls you a dummy for not> knowing how to do something he can't do either.> 5. You drive a better car than your> parents.> 6. There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine> and cabbage in your garage.> 7. There is more alcohol in your liquor> cabinet than at the local bar.> 8. You are 18 years old but your parents> still call you by your sibling's or pet's name.> 9. You can hear your dad snoring from> across the street.> 10. Your baba and diado live in your> basement.> 11. Your dad carries around enough money> to buy a car.> 12.Both your parents had to walk to> school barefoot in the snow, 5 km uphill - both ways - and> over rocks and they make sure to remind you every time you> get in your car.> 13. There is at least one relative that> your family refuses to talk to.> 14. Being someone's best man really> has no meaning.> 15. When you make jokes based on your own> tragedy.> 16. Your church has a fully loaded bar.> 17. You don't want to have or do any> business with Bulgarians.> 18. Your parents have a shot of rakiya> for breakfast.> 19. You started to drink at the age of> 12.> 20. It takes over 8 years to finish> college.> 21. You have a Bulgarian cross, flag, or> icon, hanging from your rearview mirror.> 22. You base your whole life on the> fortune in your coffee cup.> 23. You live with your mom and dad until> you are married.> 24. Your mom tells you not to sit on> cement or your ovaries will freeze.> 25. There is a slab of fat in your fridge> called 'slanina.'> 26. When your baba will not accept the> fact that you're not hungry.> 27. You go to a restaurant and you bring> your own drinks.> 28. You live for the annual soccer> tournament.> 29. When your grandma insists that> farting is healthy.> 30. All of your elderly acquaintances are> scared of drafts.> 31. When you can hear your parents> talking and you are across the street.> 32. When you're a girl, and you dye> your hair no other color than burgundy.> 33. Everyone is sure you're Greek or> Italian.> 34. No one has ever pronounced your name> right, and every kid on the block has a different nickname> for it.> 35. When you can always smell garlic on> your parents breath and they insist that is kills bacteria.> 36. When no matter how old you are, your> parents never say you're right.> 37. When you're 6'5 and 150 kg> and your parents still think you are too skinny. > 38. When you're hungry, and then you> go and buy a pack of smokes.> 39. When your baba would rather walk 5> miles to the grocery store instead of pay a quarter to take> the bus.> 40. When you have a chicken running in> your back yard.> 41. You have a shot of rakiya followed by> cherno kafe and a pack of Marlboro for breakfast.> 42. You sport the latest Nike and Adidas> outfits but have never exercised in your life.> 43. You always have the latest mobile> phone on the market.> 44. You can spend 3 hrs in a Cafe> drinking the same cup of coffee.> 45. When your parents call relatives in> Bulgaria and they have to shout to be heard.> 46. As soon as you tell a neighbor> you're Bulgarian they usually scream STOICKOV with a> weird accent.> 47. When you're married with kids and> your mother still insists on cooking for you.> 48. When you beg a friend who's going> back to Bulgaria to buy you some "good"> cigarettes.> 49. You know you're Bulgarian when> you're 25, live on your own, and still sneak up the> stairs when you get home at six in the morning.> 50. Your parents insist that piling> blankets on you body is the way to cure your 102 degree> fever.> 51. When you started going to clubs when> you were 14.> 52. When you think chalga is good music.> 53. When you are never certain whether to> stay abroad or return to Bulgaria. > 54. You know you're Bulgarian when> your dad thinks everyone in China has a black belt.> 55. When people still think that you are> from Bolivia no matter how many times you say you're> from Bulgaria. > 56. When your parents' friends have> no shame in telling you you've gained weight.> 57. You know you're Bulgarian when> all you have to do is sniffle and your parents say> "uh-huh" and start yelling at you for getting> sick.> 58. You move next door to a family member> to be closer but then end up not talking to each other> because of something stupid you said when you were drunk.> 59. Despite the fact that you are broke> you always have a pack of cigarettes.> 60. YOU KNOW YOU'RE BULGARIAN WHEN> YOU HAVE RUN AWAY FROM BULGARIA AND STILL SAY IT'S THE> BEST PLACE TO LIVE......> 61. You don't like Americans -> maikaim deiba> 62. You sneak rakiya in plastic bottles> hidden in your suitcase when coming back to the states.> 63. When non-bulgarians ask yo what your> nickname is you don't tell them because it is nowhere> close to your real name.> 64. Your grandparents always assume> you're hungry and cook for you despite having told them> twenty thousand times that you are not hungry.> 65. Your grandma always insists on> rubbing rakia on your back when you have a cold.> 66. You like queuing for no reason.> 67. You think washing the dishes in a> cheap restaurant in America is the way to success. > 68. You think that everyone who lives> abroad is rich.> 69. You think that every man who takes> care of himself is gay.> > 70. You eat bread with everything, even> with pasta.> 71. You'd rather not eat meat, than> bread. > 72. Everything your grandma cooks is> different types of stews.> 73. Your family thinks that foreign> cuisine is bad and unhealthy, but they still eat lard,> "slanina" and "djumerki/pruzhki" and> drink questionable home-made alcohol. > 74. You like roasted sunflower seeds.> 75. You think a dish cannot be too sweet> or too salty.> 76. Your grandparents prepare their own> vinegar.> 77. In your local supermarket there are> no pickles or tinned fruit because everyone makes their> own. > 78. Your neighbourhood looks like a> Native American reservation when people start making> "zimnina."> 79. You think that McDonald's, KFC> and Burger King are actually proper restaurants.> 80. The prices there are higher than in> normal restaurants, just because the junk food they serve> is American, hence more expensive. > 81. You'd try to fix something> yourself, despite having no idea how to do it, rather than> call a technician.> 82. You still carry lots of cash, even> though you have several bank cards.> 83. You don't buy fruit and> vegetables because you grandparents produce them, even> though they live a 100 km away from you. > 84. Your parents insist that you respect> all your relatives, even the ones you don't know.> 85. Your parents make up the guest list> for you wedding.> 86. They don't invite any of your> friends because they don't like them. > 87. Your grandparents get angry when you> tell them you are not going to marry your> boyfriend/girlfriend but still live with them and have> children.> 88. You are expected to name your kids> after your parents.> 89. When you go on holiday you call> everyone to say good-bye. > 90. When someone calls to tell you they> are going on holiday you get angry and think they just want> to show off.> 91. You are not from Sofia, you hate> everyone who is.> 92. You are from Sofia, you hate everyone> who isn't. > 93. You immediately start swearing when> you hear the word "Gypsy".> 94. You always vote for the same party> and then blame it for everything.> 95. The local traffic police hide in the> bushes alongside the road.> 96. They try and fine you just for the> sake of it.> 97. You are an expert in using illegal> software.> 98. What most of your friends do for a> living is illegal.> 99. Your surname ends in either> "-ov" or "-ev".> 100. You get annoyed when someone asks> you why that is so.> 101. Your first name ends in> "-a" if you are a girl.> 102. You have at least one relative> called Ivan or Maria.> 103. Nobody understands the origin of> your nickname.> 104. You are named after one of your> grandparents.> 105. Instead of a middle name, you have> another surname.> 106. Nobody understands when you nod.> 107. Everyone thinks you are shouting> when talking on the phone to your parents. > 108. You say "tz" instead of> "no".> 109. You put words such as> "be", "ue" and "ma" at the> end of the sentences.> 110. The newspapers you read have a naked> woman and a Sudoku puzzle on the back page.> 111. You believe that God is a Bulgarian> and Emil Kostadinov is the Messiah. > 112. You believe that Macedonia is not a> country and Macedonian is not a language.> 113. You think that Greeks are stupid and> shouldn't be richer than you.> 114. You hate all your neighbours.> 115. You still invite them for a drink> just to start up a fight. > 116. You prefer your neighbours'> suffering more than your own happiness.> 117. You know more than 20 words for> "being drunk".> 118. You know more than 20 words for> "f*ck".> 119. You express your happiness by> swearing. > 120. You swear for no reason.> 121. You think something is stupid when> you > don't understand it.> 122. You know how to make> "rakia" at home.> 123. You believe it's better than a> 12-year-old single malt Scotch.> 124. Your biggest fear is having to pay> more for something than others. > 125. You have bought something really> cheap and spend twice as much repairing it.> 126. You celebrate Christmas together> with Western Europe, but Easter with Eastern.> 127. Everyone's first word is> "Stoichkov", when you mention where you are from.> > 128. You believe that everything> state-owned should be broken.> 129. You believe that everyone except for> you should share their possessions.> 130. You blame the failure of your> favourite Bulgarian football team on the referee. > 131. You hate either Levski Sofia or CSKA> Sofia.> 132. You still love football more, even> though the volleyball team is amazing.> 133. You have a professional's> knowledge of wrestling and weightlifting.> 134. You believe that the Bulgarian> weightlifters are the only ones not to use doping. > 135. You pride yourself with knowing how> yoghurt is made.> 136. You actually have no idea how it is> made.> 137. You claim that a Bulgarian invented> the computer.> 138. You know that he was actually> half-American and never lived in Bulgaria. > 139. You eat "shkembe chorba"> for breakfast.> 140. You believe "pacha" is> tasty.> 141. You drink beer for breakfast.> 142. You are taught to eat ice cream only> in summer.> 143. Your mom and grandma shout at you> when you eat it in winter. > 144. You have "boza" or> "ayran" with "banitsa" as a snack.> 145. You like pork intestines boiled and> stuffed with "slanina" and meat.> 146. Your grandma cooks for 10 people,> although there are only 4 people in the house. > 147. She gets worried if you don't> get a second helping.> 148. She gets annoyed when you don't> wake up early just to have breakfast.> 149. The TV channels at home show at> least 3 South American soap operas per day.> 150. Your grandma watches all of them.> 151. You know who Azis and Slavi Trifonov> are.> 152. You care about Eurovision.> 153. You care about Big Brother.> 154. You care about Music Idol. > 155. You always vote for the Balkan> nations at Eurovision, despite actually hating them. > > 156. You believe that blond highlights go> well in your extremely black hair.> 157. You need to wear make up even if you> just go out to throw out the rubbish.> 158. You believe that being hairy is a> sign of masculinity. > 159. You say "Chestita banya!"> every time someone's had a shower.> 160. You never get a haircut in winter,> because you don't want to catch a cold.> 161. You think that a Moskvich with> curtains on the back windows is cool. > 162. You believe paying taxes and> licences is unnecessary.> 163. You will pay more to avoid paying> them.> You know that ou arer Bulgarian if u are> smiling while reading this in some apartment in North> America, listening to Slavi and remembering the great> summer that u had this year in BG!!!
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To me...a red light is no longer a stop sign. Its a 1/4 mile christmas tree!
Правя го що'т мога да си го позволя!!!

#2 Баварец

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Публикувано 05 September 2008 - 04:53 PM

w0w това много ме накефи :D :) ама майче малко прекалено ни плюйш :idea:

#3 sim4ata

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Публикувано 06 November 2008 - 12:36 PM

Дай превод за простосмътните :D :ok:

#4 nanio

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Публикувано 11 November 2008 - 10:26 AM

our baba and diado :evil: :? :D :? :lol:

#5 _FIESTA_

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Публикувано 22 February 2009 - 08:51 PM

селтак :P

Тва на мен ли го написа?
Публикувано изображение



To me...a red light is no longer a stop sign. Its a 1/4 mile christmas tree!
Правя го що'т мога да си го позволя!!!

#6 Баварец

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Публикувано 24 February 2009 - 06:12 PM

Еми не виждам на кой друг може да го е казал да ти кажа честно :offtopic: И какво ще направиш? Ще му намериш ай пи то ще викнеш Данс да го пречукат? Просто не обръщай внимание на такива коментари...
А относно текста, това е в рамките на шегата, нали?! Щото иначе просто има прекалено голяма доза антипатриотизъм...

#7 _FIESTA_

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Публикувано 24 February 2009 - 10:15 PM

Еми не виждам на кой друг може да го е казал да ти кажа честно :P И какво ще направиш? Ще му намериш ай пи то ще викнеш Данс да го пречукат? Просто не обръщай внимание на такива коментари...
А относно текста, това е в рамките на шегата, нали?! Щото иначе просто има прекалено голяма доза антипатриотизъм...

ами ако го е казал на мен ще бъде псуван ..много :lol: :D
А иначе естествено е че е ташак...аз България я обожавам :offtopic:
А в текста има много вярно....
Публикувано изображение



To me...a red light is no longer a stop sign. Its a 1/4 mile christmas tree!
Правя го що'т мога да си го позволя!!!

#8 linkmystica

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Публикувано 10 June 2018 - 06:55 AM

Много готина статийка  :D  :D  :D


Този пост е редактиран от linkmystica: 23 June 2018 - 08:12 PM








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